Spaghettini with Garlic and Lemon (Page 204)

• Date: Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 8pm
• Location: Palo Alto, CA
• Kitchen: Chris' Apartment
• Sous Chef: Chris
• Recipe Rating: B+

I picked this one because I was in the mood for something light and simple today. This dish is fantastically easy (start to finish less than 20 minutes) and is really very good. Its appearance suggests that it might be a little bland, but in fact the lemon and red pepper flavors are quite strong and play off each other well. We ate it as a main course, but I think it would make quite a nice side dish.

I thought a lot today about fear. I have, for many years now, been terrified of flying. This is not to say that I don't fly -- I do. But I am scared, and on occasion have decided not to do things simply because they required flying. I tried everything I could think of to overcome my fear, from medications to piloting single engine aircraft myself. Nothing really helped. This summer, in a particularly spectacular moment at the airport, I actually refused to get on the plane for the first time. My current trip (to Wisconsin and then California) was the first time I was flying without a friend since my little airport meltdown. In the weeks leading up to my trip, I was worried, I admit, that I wouldn't get on the plane. Then I met someone, who, without trying, and without even knowing it, convinced me that I didn't want to be scared any more. So I decided not to be. And the strange thing was, I actually wasn't. I spent the two and a half hours between Boston and Ohare staring out the window, thinking about how beautiful the clouds were. When I got off the plane I realized that on some level I had always believed that as soon as I stopped being scared, the plane would crash -- as if it was my fear, not aerodynamics, keeping the plane in the air.

Today I got to wondering, is it really that easy? Can we really just decide to not be scared anymore? I don't know. I would like to thank that guy. But I don't know how I would explain what he did for me. He didn't even know I was scared of flying. We didn't even talk about it. He just inspired me somehow. I will likely never attempt to thank him for this, but I will always be grateful.

Tomorrow I have to face a different fear. In some ways, I am looking forward to it.