Candied Walnuts (Page 5)

• Date: Tuesday, January 23, 2007 -- 8pm
• Location: Somerville, MA
• Kitchen: My Apartment
• Fellow Chefs: Matt and Ana
• Dining Companion: Matty
• Recipe Rating: A

I picked this recipe to go with dinner on Tuesday because the Hors D'oeuvres and First Courses section was the one I was the most behind on. These candied walnuts were excellent! Usually when I candy nuts I coat them in boiled sugar. That gives delicious results. But this recipe had an alternate approach that was very successful. The nuts were covered in powdered sugar and then deep-fried in hot oil. The result was crispy, crunchy, and very slightly sweet. They were then sprinkled with cayenne and salt. These nuts were by far my favorite component of the meal on Tuesday. Everyone loved them, although some people thought they could have been a bit sweeter. Matt pointed out that a lot of the sugar came off the nuts in the hot oil -- I don't know how we could have prevented that from happening, but if more of the sugar had stuck they likely would have been even tastier!

Johnny's wife died on Saturday. I just got back from her wake.

The funeral home, like all funeral homes, smelled of preservation and perfume. Danielle and I went together. Johnny stood over his wife's casket the whole time we were there, crying and touching her face. Watching him, I tried to imagine what that must feel like: losing you wife when she was only 30 years old. Finding yourself suddenly a single father of three children under the age of 7. It was easier to think about the smell. When we finally went up to the casket to hug Johnny, I found myself completely without words. I just stood there with my mouth open, willing myself to say something. I was at a loss.

I still am. What do you say to that? Her 1-year old son isn't even going to remember her...

I suppose for some things there really aren't words. Cancer is one of them.